UFC saved my life (but I’m sure it will take plenty of others)

Before I found UFC, I was never really hooked on a sport. Sure I’d watch the first couple games of the Deadskins each season before they would break my heart yet again, and the World Cup’s a good time when it comes around, but four years is a long time to wait!Then one lazy couch potato night a couple years back, I found UFC and everything changed.

I must admit that it was a bit like watching road kill at first. With each punch knocking out a good chunk of a rivaling alpha male’s 2nd grade math skills, I couldn’t help but feel sick as I would vicariously take the same punch on the couch. But I just couldn’t take my eyes of the screen. This is true natural selection at its finest! 2 bros in a cage with close to no rules, fighting for survival until the other submits to his brute dominance.

Just to clear things up, the UFC is not fake. Sure I said the same thing about WWF when I was 8, but back then I believed in a lot of other crazy things... (For the record, I still believe in David Blaine, so please do not attempt to disprove his hovering powers in my presence).

Let’s just say that there’s no faking a broken orbital (see the Brandon Vera v. Jon Jones knockout if you don’t believe me).

So what makes a well-educated suburban kid fall in love with such a primitive sport? you may ask yourself. I’m not really quite sure when I made the switch to UFC fanatic, but something just snapped in me after I witnessed enough brain poundage. It’s a bit like Stanly Kubrick’s Clockwork Orange. After enough exposure to freaky violence, you just start craving more.

Each month I have the pleasure of gearing up for yet another UFC bout with some extreme title like “Relentless” or “Unforgiving”. “YESS!!!” I declare as I pound my fist on the nearest object. This is what I’ve been waiting for! I like to label my UFC watching time as work time. As elbows and knees are raining down on helpless victims, I’m sitting back, daydreaming about t-shirt ideas and how I can apply this violence to a t-shirt.

That’s how we got to designs such as The Haymaker aka Bear Punch, or the Rhino Hunter (When Animals Attack! Part 6). I’m lucky to say that my favorite pastime has now become a source of my livelihood. I can’t wait to clock in again tonight as Marquardt takes on Okami. Showtime baby.