The Haymaker t-shirt is now a trademark definition?

• I was just stumbling around on the internet and ran into an entire definition about the Haymaker t-shirt:

The Bear Punch Shirt (tm). broadly speaking, it’s a type of t-shirt displaying subject matter that for some reason or another attracts men like a bug zapper on a louisiana swamp. it’s typically showcases a graphic that is somewhat polarizing in that there are people that “get it” and “don’t get it,” which makes it easy to weed out uninteresting, unfunny, and unlikely candidates. it’s a t-shirt that makes friends, turns heads, and ellicits an upward facing thumb from strangers. it’s your new go-to, going-out, outfit. it should be a staple of any female’s wardrobe - regarded with the same reverence as the little black dress. in fact, i will venture to say that it could be the most important article of clothing you ever own. why search endlessly for the perfect, monotone frock and bear the blisters of a pair of slingback pumps when all you really need is a man punching a bear to pique the interest of the opposite sex?

It’s important to establish some ground rules to purchasing The Bear Punch Shirt (tm). if you go too far down the path of irony, you could risk being taken seriously. the wrong subject matter could put you in danger of attracting boys with eyeliner or men with grey matter that rivals the size of their belt buckle. it takes a few tries to get it right, but once you do, you too can be high fived by whole foods’ employees, receive flirtacious custom latte-art and approached by painfully shy cashiers of independent bookstores.

SUGGESTIONS FOR BUYING YOUR VERY OWN BEAR PUNCH SHIRT

• it should not contain rainbows, unless they are being vomitted by a wild animal.
• anything with a beard or elaborate mustache will receive high marks.
• bands should generally be avoided.
• metallica and guns and roses are exceptionally poor choices.
• choose bears over polar bears. wolves over coyotes. technics over atari.

• there should not be any danger of running into another woman wearing your same Bear Punch Shirt (tm) on the street, let alone in a bar.
• it should not boast a city.
• it needs to be a plain, no bullshit tee.
• it should be a t-shirt that your target wishes he owned.
• upon first wear, if you don’t receive three comments, you’ve failed to purchase an adequateBear Punch Shirt (tm).

if the pressure of finding a Bear Punch Shirt (tm) of your own is simply overwhelming, i suggest just buying The Bear Punch Shirt (tm) that’s linked above. just don’t let me see you walking down my street with it on.